Self-Respect…What It Isn’t

I want to quit (the blog), not permanently but I really think I need more than a week or two off from having to provide content. After work today I was getting ready to start my evening and I said “ah shit, I have to work on my Wednesday blog.” I haven’t lost interest in blogging but it can be mentally exhausting and some days I honestly don’t feel like it; especially since I’m a blogger who has no idea what to blog about when it’s time to sit down on write. Several weeks ago I posted some questions on my platform asking my followers for their input on my decision to make some changes in the new year. One of the questions I asked (and I may have already shared it with you) was how they felt about me changing my blogging days from two days a week to one day a week. A majority of the response said the decision should be up to me. I think I’m in a position to do that now because I have nearly 200 blog posts available so my site isn’t lacking content.

I know you didn’t come here to read about my decision to take a break or a step back from providing content each week. Like the title says, the topic for the month of December is Self-Respect. Last month I focused on relationships and I may have shared that one of my social media followers asked for more relationship advice. Well she also mentioned self respect and stated that no one talks about what it looks like and I thought it would be a good blog topic to focus on because I’m sure a lot of people feels the same way she does. This month’s title is kinda different right? I decided to go with this title because the follower I mentioned earlier said no one talks about what self-respect looks like. Reading her statement made me agree with her and I started to think bout what self-respect actually looks like. The same is true when some people ask about happiness or self-love, what do these things look like.

There Is No “Look” there isn’t. Self-respect is not an element we can google and hope to find an image that we can mimic. Self-respect is a behavior (or an act if you will) and like most things it takes time to develop. It shows when we refuse to accept disrespect from others, when we choose not to engage in things affect our well-being and our happiness, and when we choose to do what’s best for us even if the other person doesn’t like or agree with our decision.

It Isn’t Pleasing Others let me explain. By not pleasing others I mean you’re not sacrificing what you feel to make someone else happy. This usually occurs when we are in bad relationships, i.e. the person you’re with guilt trips you so you can do what they want even if negatively affects you. Falling into this trap shows a lack of self-respect on your end. Making this decision is not love, love doesn’t guilt trip us.

It’s Isn’t Putting Someone Else’s Needs Before Yours this is similar to what I mentioned above but there’s a fine line here. Yes we should make sacrifices for those we love when it’s necessary but it shouldn’t affect our well-being to where we start questioning who we are, why we’re being treated this way, why this keeps happening, etc. It also shouldn’t bring us to tears, especially if the tears is a result of us being in agony from holding things in for so long.

The point is, there will be times when we have to make decisions that we don’t like especially when we are involved in relationships (any relationship, not just romantic ones). People who love you won’t ask you to sacrifice who you are at your core to make them happy, and they will consider your feelings when making this decision. When you respect yourself you know in your gut when someone or something isn’t right for you. When you ignore this, that’s a sign that you have no (or little) respect for yourself. When this occurs you open up the gate for people to treat and talk to you any way they like. What are your thoughts on this?

Let’s Chat! 

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Published by tam33ks

I have a long history with mental illness. Overcoming depression made me realize my own resilience. It also made it clear that I wasn’t taking care of myself. I believe that in order for us to fully engage with ourselves and others we have to make time for self-love through our self-care habits. My goal with this blog is to encourage women in my age group to make time for self-care daily.

3 thoughts on “Self-Respect…What It Isn’t

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