If you’re not familiar, every Wednesday of each month I write a wellness/wellbeing post that’s centered around self-development and motivation. I also focus on a specific topic for the month. Last month’s topic was Discomfort and for this month my topic was centered around Growth. I thought it would be a great idea to do a round up post at the end of the month which entails me providing the highlights from the topics I wrote about each week for that particular month. Consider it a one stop shop if you will, for those who may have missed a Wednesday post, or if you need a refresher or a boost to help you get through.
As mentioned previously, the topic for the month of April was Growth, over the past several weeks I’ve discussed adopting a growth mindset, three things that we often outgrow in life, and how to know when it’s time for us to bare fruit (personal growth). In reference to bearing fruit, I talked about how it’s important for us to stay stagnant, (i.e reaping the benefits of our growth). Meaning, we are not always in a season of growth, sometimes we need to reap the benefits and enjoy the fruits that we’ve already bared. I always say none of this is easy, because it isn’t. None of what we go through in life is considered easy, change takes time and we have to create that space for ourselves to fall short, while keeping in mind that we can always get back on the bandwagon.
HOW TO IDENTIFY WHEN IT’S TIME TO BARE FRUIT My definition of growth is –evolving or moving to the next stage in life after realizing that the person you were before; no longer serves you. Growth is also realizing the people you invited in your life no longer serves you, and it’s realizing that the decisions you once made no longer serves you. Growth in my opinion is wanting to become a better version of who you are while still honoring where you were in life. But growth is not always easy to identify. I talked a lot about discomfort last month and I think a sign of growth is feeling a certain level of discomfort with yourself for a variety of reasons (e.g. career, friends, choices, your home, finances, etc). I also think that when we’re stagnant in life for too long it’s a sign that we need to grow. But if the thought of making a change all at once is too overwhelming take baby steps towards making those changes BUT MAKE THE CHANGE. It’s imperative. We’re not always in our growth season, but how do you know when you’re growing?
You’re No Longer Interested In The Same Things — For some of us, when we get older certain lifestyles and activities no longer suit us. It’s as if we don’t get the same pleasures out of it anymore. For some, you may now be interested in activities that stimulates different sides of who you are e.g. your mind. You may even be interested in different hobbies such as gardening, cooking, taking a class, or reading.
You Have This Constant Need For Change — I’m no expert but I always assume this is a sign of growth. Similar to what I mentioned above, I sometimes lose interest in the things I use to enjoy doing. Whenever I feel this way; I retreat, spend time alone, and try to work on some changes within myself.
Certain Things No Longer Resonate With You — This can also include friends. I’m sure we’ve all had friendships that we’ve outgrown because our mindset and decisions no longer mesh. I think this is when people say “you’ve changed.” But really you’ve grown and they are in a season in their life when they’ve bared no fruit.
ADOPTING A GROWTH MINDSET This is my unprofessional opinion but our growth starts there, in our mind. When we know it’s time to evolve and grow, it’s usually because of something that we “hear” in the back of our heads, and in some cases we even start to think differently and we make more mature choices when we make the decision to grow. I think for some, growth can be scary because it falls in line with the unknown. Meaning, how do you know what you’re “growing into?” Especially if you feel safe in the cocoon that you’ve already built and have grown so accustomed to. But growth is progress, and I think we miss out on who we are meant to become when we choose to stay the same. Similarly, when we choose to grow, I think it should be all encompassing and that’s where I think the growth mindset comes into play.
What Do You Want Out Of Life? If you’re struggling to develop a growth mindset, start my asking yourself this question while keeping in mind that what you want may require some growth on your part. You can’t want something out of life but you’re not willing to put the work in to get there.
How Do You Approach Challenges? Do you let your frustration take over and handle it? (which we know is never the best option). Or do you take a mature approach regardless of how upsetting or inconvenient the matter may be? This approach is not alway easy, I’m sure we all struggle with this.
How Do You Resist The Fight Against Your Own Personal Change? And by this I mean how do you tackle the fear of growth? Again, this all starts with your mindset and going back to the first question on what it is you want out of life. Your want and need for growth must out weigh your fear and I think we have to feel the fear, leap, and do it anyway.
3 THINGS WE OUTGROW IN LIFE We outgrow a lot of things throughout the course of our lives but I think three of the most common factors that we outgrow are our careers, friendships, and our romantic relationships. Ironically, these are also the factors that we tend to settle/get comfortable with simply because we are familiar with it. In some cases, we question our capabilities. It’s interesting how we are willing to stifle our well-being and happiness for what feels familiar to us.
Outgrowing Careers you’ve outgrown your career when you no longer see room for growth, when you feel the feel need for growth, or if you’re no longer full-filled.
Outgrowing Friendships for some reason some of us feel like we need to hold on to friendships for a variety of reasons e.g. we’ve known each other since elementary school, she was there for me when no one else was (this previous reason does make it hard), we know so much about each other, etc. while these factors are important; it’s not good to hold on to something because it use to work out really well for you.
Outgrowing Romantic Relationships this is very similar to the above but romantic relationship usually holds a bit more weight because our emotions are involved differently, you’ve shared your body with this person, you may share space (apt. or home), and you may have a child. So there is a lot more on the table with this one. This still does not mean that you should settle if you feel you’ve outgrown the relationship.
Whenever I work on these round up post I always feel like they are a lot to unpack. For some reason there’s a different feeling with writing them each week and compiling them all in one sitting. It has a completely different impact on me. This month’s focus really opened my eyes to the role that growth plays in our lives, and how easy it is for us to get comfortable based on our situation and what we are use to. My goal is that at the very least, we are aware. I’ve said it time and time again, change is not easy but we have to try, there’s no use or benefit in remaining stagnant. As a species we are meant to evolve and change and this change includes our growth (when the time is appropriate). Remember we aren’t always in the season to bare fruit. We just have to know when it’s time to enjoy what we’ve already bared and when it’s time to produce new crop.
How do you identify your growth? Let’s Chat!
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