How To Identify When It’s Time to Bare Fruit (Self-Growth)

I posted a quote today on my social media platforms that said “It’s not always time to grow. Find the balance between staying committed to your evolution and taking time off from continuously advancing to new levels. Intentionally being where you are and enjoying how far you’ve come helps you break the attachment to always craving results.”–Yung Pueblo. I think this quote is so powerful, and it rings true. We are not always in a season of growth. I follow Myleik Teele on Instagram (she’s the CEO of Curlbox) and she once said something similar; “sometimes we will be in a season where we bare no fruit.” While true, this is perplexing because we live in a society where there’s constant talk about wanting to grow, needing to grow, is growing, and being ready for growth. We hardly ever hear about not growing. I myself is guilty of it, if you follow the blog, how many times have you heard me talk about growth? The constant need for growth is a lot of pressure, what’s wrong with just being? The first quote I shared says it best “find the balance between staying committed to your evolution and taking time off from continuously advancing to new levels.” Now that I think about it, if we are constantly moving to new levels, how will we find the benefit from the growth in the previous level? There’s a reason why we should sit in that growth spurt for a while.

For the month of April, my topics will be centered around Growth. Usually when I come up with a new topic for the month I do some research and share with you what the word means based on someone’s else’s definition. This time I want to define it on my own. My definition of growth is –evolving or moving to the next stage in your life after realizing that the person you were before; no longer serves you. When you realize the people you invited in your life no longer serves you, and when you realize that the decisions you made no longer serves you. Growth in my opinion is wanting to become a better version of who you were while still honoring where you were in your life. But growth is not always easy to identify. I talked a lot about discomfort last month and I think a sign of growth is feeling a certain level of discomfort with yourself for a variety of reasons (e.g. career, friends, choices, your home, finances, etc). I also think that when we’re stagnant in life for too long it’s a sign that we need to grow. Honestly, it’s a bit unattractive to me when I meet people who are completely content with the direction their life is going in (and I don’t mean this in a good way). I once knew someone who was well in his 30s, worked a full-time job, and still lived at home with his mother (he was still sleeping in the same twin size bed in he had in high school). If any of this sounds like you, this is not a healthy way to live your life. But if the thought of making a change all at once is too overwhelming take baby steps towards making some changes BUT MAKE THE CHANGE. It’s imperative. We’re not always in our growth season, but how do you know when you’re growing?

You’re No Longer Interested In The Same Things— I feel like this mostly happens with age. For some of us, when we get older certain lifestyles and activities no longer suit us. It’s as if we don’t get the same pleasures out of it anymore. For some, you may now be interested in activities that stimulates a different side of who you are e.g. your mind. You may even be interested in different hobbies such as gardening, cooking, taking a class, or reading.

You Have This Constant Need For Change –I have been here. It’s literally very uncomfortable for me. It’s a feeling of “something just doesn’t feel right” and it’s hard to pin point what that “something” is. I’m no expert but I always assume this is a sign growth. Similar to what I mentioned above, I sometimes lose interest in the things I use to enjoy doing. Whenever I feel like this, I retreat, spend time alone, and try to work on some changes within myself.

Certain Things No Longer Resonate With You–I associate this with the party life but it’s not the only lifestyle that fall in this category. This can also include friends. I’m sure we’ve all had friendships that we’ve outgrown because our mindset and decisions no longer mesh. I think this is when people say “you’ve changed.” But really you’ve grown and they are in a season in their life when they’ve bared no fruit. I think when we’re the ones who’ve grown, we should extend some grace to how the other person behaves, because they will likely not see things the way that you see it and this can sometimes lead to a lot of unnecessary drama and potential difficulties in your friendship. In situations like these, I tend to keep a very open mindset especially if what I’m sharing is not landing with that person. Sometimes when you choose to be the bigger person, we may have to hold space for those who don’t quite understand how to hold space for themselves just yet (may being the operative word here, only you can know what you’re capable of handling).

Take this post like a grain of salt. Meaning, you have to know when it’s time to grow and when it’s time to enjoy the fruits that you’ve bared in the past. This post is not law, if you’re in your season of growth don’t start questioning your process continue to grow because it’s probably needed. I just wanted to use this post to talk a little bit about not feeling the need to grow all the time because that too, is also an option. I also needed to hear it, in my introduction I mentioned that we live in a society that constantly talks about the need to grow but there’s not much said about enjoying the season you’ve already grown into before moving on to the next level in life. What are your thoughts on growth? We should chat!

Follow Me:

  • Instagram: @selfcareatforty
  • Twitter: @playingblogger and @naturaldo
  • Pinterest: @tam33ks

Published by tam33ks

I have a long history with mental illness. Overcoming depression made me realize my own resilience. It also made it clear that I wasn’t taking care of myself. I believe that in order for us to fully engage with ourselves and others we have to make time for self-love through our self-care habits. My goal with this blog is to encourage women in my age group to make time for self-care daily.

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