While working on the Aggressively Editing Your Life worksheet that I mentioned in this blog post. I narrowed down where I was, where I wanted to be, the barriers, etc. and came to a realization (side note: combing through your problems step by step is really effective). Breaking down the questions in each step in the worksheet really helps with getting to the root cause of our problem. The process of completing the worksheet helped me determine the common denominator in what’s holding me back from accomplishing certain goals. For me, it’s my discipline.
Here’s how I came to the realization. As mentioned above, I used the worksheet to break down where I was and where I wanted to be. By the time I reached the section on potential barriers, I noticed that a lot of what I wanted were primarily affected by one specific barrier. I knew what I needed to do but I lacked the discipline to stay consistent. Discipline can be a challenge for most of us, I’m sure it has something to do with feeling confined, restricted, and losing your sense of freedom to some extent. Even though the consequences of discipline can be extremely beneficial there’s just something about instant gratification that holds us captive.
Here are some self-discipline examples. One tip we can use to address discipline is to consciously take a tactical pause-a deliberate break that will allow us to re-group before we make decisions. Some of us act on impulse way too often so we must remind ourselves to take a step back and evaluate the situation. I think acting on impulse taps into some type of pleasure zone somewhere in our brain, it’s almost a thought process of “this feels so good so let’s go with it.” But sometimes the consequences of being impulsive doesn’t always work out to our advantage. There are, however, some spur of the moment decisions that are okay. One example would be taking a weekend trip because you are overdue for a vacation. But decisions that consistently hurt you, negatively impacts your life, and hold you back from achieving your goals is the problem that we need to address. The process may look like this:
As difficult as it may be at times, it’s IMPERATIVE that we take that tactical pause.
In some cases you might be able to do a “condensed version” of the decision. Meaning maybe you can do a little, but you can’t go all in. For example, if you’re revamping your finances, consider meeting up with friends for dessert instead of meeting them for dinner and paying for an entire meal. This way you still get to spend time with your friends but you’re not blowing your budget. By the way, if you need a budget plan I created a super simple printable budget worksheet in a previous blog post.
Coming to these types of conclusions and making the necessary life adjustments is the purpose of the worksheet. It’s designed to allow you to take a deep dive so you can get to the root cause of the problem. Determining the root cause should create space for you to accomplish goals and work on becoming a better version of yourself. Also, these goals aren’t always about attaining physical things such as purchasing a home. Negative self talk, emotional reactions such as anger also warrants a tactical pause because they too, fall under being impulsive.
In order for us to stay on track with anything, we need some form of accountability. Something to help us stay focused with this new mindset. In most instances we know what to do, but when there’s no accountability we sometimes fall short. The next time you feel the need to act on impulse; say to yourself ; “wait a minute” and then stop and think before you act. I want to drill this in our heads, this is my way of keeping us accountable. Accountability is key. “Wait a minute” and then stop and think before you act. Put your pointer finger up when you say it if you think it might help. “Wait a minute” and then stop and think before you act. Engaging in this small activity will help you master your self-discipline.
If you’ve completed the worksheet, I would suggest going through it once more. You really want to take time to make sure you’re not forgetting anything that will help you reach your goals and help you work on your emotional self-care. I participate in everything that I create and share with you because I want to produce content that I know will benefit my readers and those they choose to share it with. I write each blog post with purpose, not just to boost my blog numbers. If I don’t believe in my own content, then what’s the point of it all? I have gone through the worksheet once and I plan on taking a second and possibly a third look to make sure I didn’t forget to capture anything. There is a reason why I wrote “take as long as you need with this section” on every page of the worksheet.
I mentioned on my homepage that I named the blog selfcareatforty because I am forty. Self-care is important at any age so I invite all ages to read the blog; but I think women in their forties need to start making self-care a priority. We are getting older ladies and if you weren’t engaging in self-care practices before now is the time to start. This includes more than just massages and facials. The time and effort we put into other areas such as our emotional health, our relationships, our finances, etc. those are all parts of our self-care habits, because they have a direct impact on our lives. Hence the reason I write post like these on Wednesdays.
We really have to take that deep dive and ask ourselves, “As a woman in her forties, what do I want my life to look like in ten years? Let me say that again. “As a woman in her forties, what do I want my life to look like in ten years?” This is why I created this platform for us. I’m not an expert in all areas but I try to create content and share free self-care worksheets and other resources that touch different areas which impacts our lives. Everything may not apply to you in these blog post but something might. Plus, you can always share the information because someone else might need it.
Before I go, I wanted to share that on January 3rd, I will be launching my weekly Newsletter, in addition to my Self-care Accountability Worksheets. The worksheets will act as a supplement to my daily self-care challenges. The purpose is to help you stay on track with your daily self-care routines. If you’re interested in receiving these items weekly, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. The self-care worksheets are FREE but will only be available to my Newsletter subscribers. I will NOT spam you, I will only email once per week.